Mistakes Don’t Define Your Worth
Mistakes have been on my mind recently. I've been rewatching Full House and got to the episode where Stephanie accidentally crashes the car into the Tanner kitchen (oops). I actually had a similar moment when I was around 12 and backed my four-wheeler into my dad's truck… yikes. That was not a good moment at all, and it has always stuck with me. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, and I had to take responsibility. I felt absolutely awful, and let me tell you, boy, did I cry.
If you haven't seen this episode of Full House, Stephanie runs away from home afterward, but then comes back because Uncle Jesse found her at Rebecca's house. When she talks with her dad, Danny, she takes all the blame. He tells her it's the stupidest thing she's ever done, and Stephanie goes into a self-loathing spiral — which, I can tell you, I've been there a time or two or seventy-two.
She asks how she can still be loved. And it just made my heart hurt, because I've thought that same thing since I was young, and honestly, I still think about it to this day. How can you love me still? Even though I'm not perfect, even though I mess up?
I think it's a beautiful thing, one that Jesus exhibits for us. He loved us knowing we're human, and He still loves us even when we make mistakes. The same goes for our parents, if they're loving and walking with God. None of our mistakes or mess-ups can make them stop loving us. Of course, there are repercussions to some mistakes, but your actions and behaviors don't make you less than or less worthy. Romans 8:1 says it best, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
We're human.
Lately, I've really felt this, as I make mistakes sometimes multiple times a day. I try not to, but I'm human, and it happens. But man, it still sends a giant red flag to my nervous system because I still try to be perfect, even though I know that's impossible. My emotional brain is still trying to comprehend that I don't have to be perfect to be loved and that making mistakes isn't the end of the world.
I recently made some mistakes at work. I missed a few things, and I also reacted too quickly to something, making it a bigger deal than it needed to be. I instantly felt remorse, and while part of me tried to say it was okay and valid, really, if I had just taken a breath and waited to respond, it wouldn't have been a problem at all.
I have to constantly remind myself that mistakes don't define who I am. They will keep happening until the day I die, because I'm human. I can't do everything, I can't keep up, and I am not perfect, and I never will be. If we were perfect, we wouldn't need God. But we can't rely on ourselves — we were never meant to. That's exactly why I need Jesus, the only perfect person to ever walk this earth. And like He says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 — "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I get caught up in this with my own business, too. I want to speak more, I want to do all these things, and yet I hold myself back because I'm afraid of looking like I don't know what I'm doing — like I'm an amateur, a fraud who shouldn't be doing what I'm doing because of past mistakes, current mistakes, and all the mistakes still to come. Because I'm human, and I'm not exempt from them.
But maybe that's the most beautiful thing I can offer, not perfection, but honesty. I don't have all the answers. I struggle, and I mess up, but God still wants to use that to connect with others. And somehow, He meets me right there in the middle of it.
It's also really hard sometimes to be vulnerable and say, "Yeah, I messed up, and that's on me," or "I'm not sure what to do." But mistakes will happen. We can't let them stop us from doing what we need to do, or what we're called to do. We have to take what we learn from them and keep moving forward. Psalm 37:24 puts it simply, "Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."
Mistakes are going to happen. I'm still learning to be okay with that. But I'd rather keep messing up and moving forward than let the fear of it stop me. I hope that you will remember that too.
